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2004-08-26 - 10:54 p.m.

I do not know how SigOt does it.

Now most people that know me think I'm a nice guy. People who really know me wonder why I'm not on medication yet or where I hid the bodies.

Example 1: SigOt is on my ass to clean the shower. She's asked repeatedly because she cannot reach where the mold or grime or whatever is growing. Have I done it? No. I even remembered this morning after my shower. I'm bucking authority.

Example 2: Sis called me to help her do some stuff around the house. Not sure why her boyfriend couldn't help but then I don't do stuff my wife asks me to do. Anyway, it was late and we were looking at this big light fixture in her yard. One of the bulbs is out.

So we go out and prop this little stool up unsteadily on the bricks around it and I realize I need an Allen wrench which Sis has in the house. She tells me not to fall and runs inside. Meanwhile, I get down, lay the stool down sideways, and curl up in a ball on the ground and hold my head. She almost freaked out and then almost killed me when I let her in on the joke.

Example 3: One of my closest friends at work came up to me and asked if I would show up for my last day of work. After I said yes, he said, "So I don't have to tell you today how much we'll miss you around here?"

I replied, "You don't have to tell me tomorrow either."

You see, SigOt has to live with a six feet two inch penis. And she takes it all in stride. Not to mention she's carrying my first child. I love her so much. Both of them actually.

My next entry will be about all the wonderful stuff I learned in childbirthing class, like "how to sit down and shut the f up during labor" and "I carried her for 9 months, now you do something." And can the Geneva Convention ban videos containing episiotomies? I didn't feel that faint when Mike Claxton ripped my index fingernail off with a pair of pliers!!!

Which reminds me, I have leftover bar-b-que in the fridge. Auf Weidersehn.

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